Accepting that the answer is no...

   About 15 years ago Matt and I were introduced to a long lost relative, and their family. This meant so much to us. We visited together several times and seemed to get along great. Their whole family even attended our wedding. About 6 months later they had a health scare and needed surgery. We visited with them in the hospital, brought a nice gift and everything seemed to be fine.

    That year, shortly before Christmas, the relative showed up at our door. They were immediately invited in. They declined, and simply handed me a wrapped present. I was told it was a Christmas gift for us. I don't remember the rest of the short conversation, I just came away from it with the idea that we would not be seeing them anymore. I still was not quite sure what had just happened. I walked to the window and watched as they walked to the car. Shoulders were sagging, and feet were dragging. Everything I saw told me that it was not their idea, and this was the last thing they wanted to do. Our thought is that the spouse was not comfortable with us being in their lives, and put a stop to it. Although during our visits we didn't get any indication that they were uncomfortable with us being around.

    That was the last we saw of them. Matt made a few attempts over the phone, but was not given a warm reception. Obviously more than a decade has passed, we have gone through trials and triumphs, and at each juncture our thoughts include them. When our children were born, I sent baby announcements with the hope that we would get some response. Still nothing.

   They have really been on my mind lately, and I keep wishing that they would just magically walk back into our lives. They kept coming to mind today, and I found myself praying for them, and asking God to help me accept that for now the answer seems to be no. Someday I hope and pray that our children will be able to meet them, but for now I guess we just wait and hope...

   

" Justa one more kiss "

   This is currently our favorite quote from our soon to be four year old . As you can imagine, at this age he's doing so many cute things, which then inspires one to kiss his chubby little cheeks. So we ask for kisses, and wait for his reply. " Justa one more kiss " he says with a knowing smile. We find ourselves asking on purpose, but then never sticking to the one kiss limit, it's just not possible :) We played this little game just this evening.

    After putting him to bed, my thoughts turned to all the victims of the tragedy in Boston today, and the victims of recent school shootings. So many people that only got one final kiss from their loved one before they were gone in an instant. What they wouldn't give to get just one more.  I just can't imagine. So often I get upset over trivial things, while others are longing for just one more minute with a loved one. Life is so precious , yet so fleeting. May we be thankful for every moment that God gives us, and not sweat the small stuff.

Ok, here goes nothing. I keep telling myself that I need to start writing again, but keep putting it off. I was recently inspired by friends to try blogging about my thoughts. I normally would get all excited and determine to start sometime soon, but never actually get around to it. Enough with the procrastination already! Time to accomplish something. So come along for the ride, not promising anything earthshattering, but hopefully it will be theraputic, for at least one of us. ( please note, this girl is not tech. savy )